Showing posts with label film trailers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label film trailers. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Two upcoming horror movie remakes
One should be bloody fun, the other looks like crap. Both originals are from 1978.
Piranha 3D (end of August). One of the few that actually calls for a remake, the 2010 version has an all-star cast and, obviously, monstrous mutant fish in 3D. This can't go wrong, it just can't.
Piranha 3D (end of August). One of the few that actually calls for a remake, the 2010 version has an all-star cast and, obviously, monstrous mutant fish in 3D. This can't go wrong, it just can't.
I Spit on Your Grave (end of October) Sharing a similar tone and story with the original Last House on the Left, the original I Spit is infamous for its violent subject matter. This unnecessary re-doing already has a low-grade look.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Car (1977) "The car, he's in here!" HE! i love you car. You are so smart you were able to get inside that guy's garage. You are so much a better actor than those losers. Yes, Ronny "the ground was hallowed" Cox and James Brolin, who plays cat and mouse with a car from the depths of hell, while allowing his dumb girlfriend to get mauled by the car. Check out those sweet maneuvers by the car. Good job car. [rating: **]-Kenyon
The Thrill Killers (1964, black and white) [rating: no stars] Low-budget snoozefest about a bunch of escaped insane men terrorizing the locals. Unnecessarily long chase scenes were tacked on to fill the 70 minutes. In fact, (from wikipedia) "The original film was to focus around the three mental patients, but Steckler found that while directing the film (with little to no set script) that the film was not running long enough and therefore began to shoot scenes with him as Click." [rating: no stars] -Kenyon
Monster in the Closet (1986) Troma horror comedy with intentional movie cliches. The monster, which is actually kinda cool, hides in closets, grabs people and throws clothes out of the closet. After even the military can't stop the monster that soon threatens the entire world, the cameo-filled cast concludes that they must destroy all closets. [rating: **] -Kenyon
Bite Me (2004) Mutated spiders attack humans at a strip club. Embarassing acting and dialogue along with amateur monster effects makes this Z-grade movie awful in a bad way. Big waste of time, even when fast forwarding. [rating: no stars] -Kenyon
The Thrill Killers (1964, black and white) [rating: no stars] Low-budget snoozefest about a bunch of escaped insane men terrorizing the locals. Unnecessarily long chase scenes were tacked on to fill the 70 minutes. In fact, (from wikipedia) "The original film was to focus around the three mental patients, but Steckler found that while directing the film (with little to no set script) that the film was not running long enough and therefore began to shoot scenes with him as Click." [rating: no stars] -Kenyon
Monster in the Closet (1986) Troma horror comedy with intentional movie cliches. The monster, which is actually kinda cool, hides in closets, grabs people and throws clothes out of the closet. After even the military can't stop the monster that soon threatens the entire world, the cameo-filled cast concludes that they must destroy all closets. [rating: **] -Kenyon
Bite Me (2004) Mutated spiders attack humans at a strip club. Embarassing acting and dialogue along with amateur monster effects makes this Z-grade movie awful in a bad way. Big waste of time, even when fast forwarding. [rating: no stars] -Kenyon
Monday, August 03, 2009
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